babies were throwing up all over the place
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
