hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
How external is "for external use only"?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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