Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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