I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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