I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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