I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
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