Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
