K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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