it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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