someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How does one acquire holy water?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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