It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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