Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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