i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Who died my cat blue again?
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