what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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