I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
