The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
