I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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