its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
