This girl is more easily done than said...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
