so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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