never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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