i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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