I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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