Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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