i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
