dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
