new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
