I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
home. puking in laundry basket.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
