you guys were way drunker than both of me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
