I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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