We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
