i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
