the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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