if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
