I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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