I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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