I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
