Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
