I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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