hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
