The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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