garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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