Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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