You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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