Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
