I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
