I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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