i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
