I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
They are going to name an STD after you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
