It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
