In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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