The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The best revenge is premature balding
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No subtext here. People are naked.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
