This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
