like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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