Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
