You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I understand Curling. That high.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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