i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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