college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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