It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
