Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
