Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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