the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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