did you get engaged???
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
