Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
