you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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