My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
