Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
