You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
