things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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