Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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