youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
